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If you go parachuting, and your parachute doesn't open, and you friends are all watching you fall, I think a read more
If you go parachuting, and your parachute doesn't open, and you friends are all watching you fall, I think a funny gag would be to pretend you were swimming.
If you're robbing a bank and you're pants fall down, I think it's okay to laugh and to let the read more
If you're robbing a bank and you're pants fall down, I think it's okay to laugh and to let the hostages laugh too, because, come on, life is funny.
Is there anything more beautiful than a beautiful, beautiful flamingo, flying across in front of a beautiful sunset? And he's read more
Is there anything more beautiful than a beautiful, beautiful flamingo, flying across in front of a beautiful sunset? And he's carrying a beautiful rose in his beak, and also he's carrying a very beautiful painting with his feet. And also, you're drunk.
Humor is something that thrives between man's aspirations and his limitations. There is more logic in humor than in anything read more
Humor is something that thrives between man's aspirations and his limitations. There is more logic in humor than in anything else. Because, you see, humor is truth.
To me, clowns aren't funny. In fact, they're kind of scary. I've wondered where this started and I think it read more
To me, clowns aren't funny. In fact, they're kind of scary. I've wondered where this started and I think it goes back to the time I went to the circus, and a clown killed my dad.
Americans are pragmatic, relatively uncomplicated, hearty and given to broad humor.
Americans are pragmatic, relatively uncomplicated, hearty and given to broad humor.
If I had no sense of humor, I would long ago have committed suicide.
If I had no sense of humor, I would long ago have committed suicide.
I wish outer space guys would conquer the Earth and make people their pets, because I'd like to have one read more
I wish outer space guys would conquer the Earth and make people their pets, because I'd like to have one of those little beds with my name on it.
The ability to quote is a serviceable substitute for wit.
The ability to quote is a serviceable substitute for wit.
