Old age isn't so bad when you consider the alternatives.

Old age isn't so bad when you consider the alternatives.

Most married couples, even though they love each other very much in theory, tend to view each other in practice read more

Most married couples, even though they love each other very much in theory, tend to view each other in practice as large teeming flaw colonies, the result being that they get on each other's nerves and regularly erupt into vicious emotional shouting matches over such issues as toaster settings.

The three ages of man: youth, middle age, and "You're looking wonderful!"

The three ages of man: youth, middle age, and "You're looking wonderful!"

When marrying, ask yourself this question: Do you believe that you will be able to converse well with this person read more

When marrying, ask yourself this question: Do you believe that you will be able to converse well with this person into your old age? Everything else in marriage is transitory.

The woman's vision is deep reaching, the man's far reaching. With the man the world is his heart, with the read more

The woman's vision is deep reaching, the man's far reaching. With the man the world is his heart, with the woman the heart is her world.

If Mr. Vincent Price were to be co-starred with Miss Bette Davis in a story by Mr. Edgar Allan Poe read more

If Mr. Vincent Price were to be co-starred with Miss Bette Davis in a story by Mr. Edgar Allan Poe directed by Mr. Roger Corman, it could not fully express the pent-up violence and depravity of a single day in the life of the average family.

Such a wife as I want... must be young, handsome I lay most stress upon a good shape, sensible a read more

Such a wife as I want... must be young, handsome I lay most stress upon a good shape, sensible a little learning will do, well-bread, chaste, and tender. As to religion, a moderate stock will satisfy me. She must believe in God and hate a saint.

I don't believe one grows older. I think that what happens early on in life is that at a certain read more

I don't believe one grows older. I think that what happens early on in life is that at a certain age one stands still and stagnates.

The majority of persons choose their wives with as little prudence as they eat. They see a troll with nothing read more

The majority of persons choose their wives with as little prudence as they eat. They see a troll with nothing else to recommend her but a pair of thighs and choice hunkers, and so smart to void their seed that they marry her at once. They imagine they can live in marvelous contentment with handsome feet and ambrosial buttocks. Most men are accredited fools shortly after they leave the womb.