If you can't ignore an insult, top it; if you can't top it, laugh it off; and if you can't read more

If you can't ignore an insult, top it; if you can't top it, laugh it off; and if you can't laugh it off, it's probably deserved.

Insults should be written in sand, compliments should be carved in stone

Insults should be written in sand, compliments should be carved in stone

She has the answer to everything and the solution to nothing.

She has the answer to everything and the solution to nothing.

Never insult an alligator until you've crossed the river.

Never insult an alligator until you've crossed the river.

I am not going to spend any time whatsoever in attacking the Foreign Secretary. If we complain about the tune, read more

I am not going to spend any time whatsoever in attacking the Foreign Secretary. If we complain about the tune, there is no reason to attack the monkey when the organ grinder is present.

A graceful taunt is worth a thousand insults.

A graceful taunt is worth a thousand insults.

Never offend people with style when you can offend them with substance.

Never offend people with style when you can offend them with substance.

I've had a wonderful evening - but this wasn't it.

I've had a wonderful evening - but this wasn't it.

It'd be a terrific innovation if you could get your mind to stretch a little further than the next wisecrack.

It'd be a terrific innovation if you could get your mind to stretch a little further than the next wisecrack.