Never insult an alligator until you've crossed the river.

Never insult an alligator until you've crossed the river.

If you can't ignore an insult, top it; if you can't top it, laugh it off; and if you can't read more

If you can't ignore an insult, top it; if you can't top it, laugh it off; and if you can't laugh it off, it's probably deserved.

When will the public cease to insult the teacher's calling with empty flattery? When will men who would never for read more

When will the public cease to insult the teacher's calling with empty flattery? When will men who would never for a moment encourage their own sons to enter the work of the public schools cease to tell us that education is the greatest and noblest of all human callings?

She has the answer to everything and the solution to nothing.

She has the answer to everything and the solution to nothing.

She looked as if she had been poured into her clothes and had forgotten to say "when."

She looked as if she had been poured into her clothes and had forgotten to say "when."

Never offend people with style when you can offend them with substance.

Never offend people with style when you can offend them with substance.

I have met a lot of hardboiled eggs in my time, but you're twenty minutes.

I have met a lot of hardboiled eggs in my time, but you're twenty minutes.

A graceful taunt is worth a thousand insults.

A graceful taunt is worth a thousand insults.

The way to procure insults is to submit to them: a man meets with no more respect than he exacts.

The way to procure insults is to submit to them: a man meets with no more respect than he exacts.