About all I can say for the United States Senate is that it opens with a prayer and closes with read more

About all I can say for the United States Senate is that it opens with a prayer and closes with an investigation.

Americans have different ways of saying things. They say "elevator", we say "lift"... they say "President", we say "stupid psychopathic read more

Americans have different ways of saying things. They say "elevator", we say "lift"... they say "President", we say "stupid psychopathic git.

I predict future happiness for Americans if they can prevent the government from wasting the labors of the people under read more

I predict future happiness for Americans if they can prevent the government from wasting the labors of the people under the pretense of taking care of them.

America's abundance was not created by public sacrifices to "the common good", but by the productive genius of free men read more

America's abundance was not created by public sacrifices to "the common good", but by the productive genius of free men who pursued their own personal interests and the making of their own private fortunes

By the age of six the average child will have completed the basic American education.... From television, the child will read more

By the age of six the average child will have completed the basic American education.... From television, the child will have learned how to pick a lock, commit a fairly elaborate bank holdup, prevent wetness all day long, get the laundry twice as white, and kill people with a variety of sophisticated armaments.

When good Americans die they go to Paris.

When good Americans die they go to Paris.

American consumers have no problem with carcinogens, but they will not purchase any product, including floor wax, that has fat read more

American consumers have no problem with carcinogens, but they will not purchase any product, including floor wax, that has fat in it.

I love America more than any other country in this world, and, exactly for this reason, I insist on the read more

I love America more than any other country in this world, and, exactly for this reason, I insist on the right to criticize her perpetually.

Half of the American people have never read a newspaper. Half never voted for President. One hopes it is the read more

Half of the American people have never read a newspaper. Half never voted for President. One hopes it is the same half.