I want to get a job as someone who names kitchen appliances. Toaster, refrigerator, blender.... all you do is say read more

I want to get a job as someone who names kitchen appliances. Toaster, refrigerator, blender.... all you do is say what the shit does, and add "er". I wanna work for the Kitchen Appliance Naming Institute. Hey, what does that do? It keeps shit fresh. Well, that's a fresher....I'm going on break.

Last week I helped my friend stay put. It's a lot easier than helping someone move. I just went over read more

Last week I helped my friend stay put. It's a lot easier than helping someone move. I just went over to his house and made sure that he did not start to load his shit into a truck.

The really idle man gets nowhere; the perpetually busy man does not get much further.

The really idle man gets nowhere; the perpetually busy man does not get much further.

The lust for comfort, that stealthy thing that enters the house a guest and then becomes a host, and then read more

The lust for comfort, that stealthy thing that enters the house a guest and then becomes a host, and then a master.

How soon 'not now' becomes 'never'.

How soon 'not now' becomes 'never'.

Whenever there is a hard job to be done I assign it to a lazy man; he is sure to read more

Whenever there is a hard job to be done I assign it to a lazy man; he is sure to find an easy way of doing it.

A life of leisure and a life of laziness are two different things.

A life of leisure and a life of laziness are two different things.

For Satan finds some mischief still For idle hands to do.

For Satan finds some mischief still For idle hands to do.

Efficiency is intelligent laziness.

Efficiency is intelligent laziness.