I love America more than any other country in this world, and, exactly for this reason, I insist on the read more

I love America more than any other country in this world, and, exactly for this reason, I insist on the right to criticize her perpetually.

I think the most un-American thing you can say is, 'You can't say that.'

I think the most un-American thing you can say is, 'You can't say that.'

By the age of six the average child will have completed the basic American education.... From television, the child will read more

By the age of six the average child will have completed the basic American education.... From television, the child will have learned how to pick a lock, commit a fairly elaborate bank holdup, prevent wetness all day long, get the laundry twice as white, and kill people with a variety of sophisticated armaments.

About all I can say for the United States Senate is that it opens with a prayer and closes with read more

About all I can say for the United States Senate is that it opens with a prayer and closes with an investigation.

America is becoming so educated that ignorance will be a novelty. I will belong to the select few.

America is becoming so educated that ignorance will be a novelty. I will belong to the select few.

My fellow citizens of the world: ask not what America will do for you, but what together we can do read more

My fellow citizens of the world: ask not what America will do for you, but what together we can do for the freedom of man

American consumers have no problem with carcinogens, but they will not purchase any product, including floor wax, that has fat read more

American consumers have no problem with carcinogens, but they will not purchase any product, including floor wax, that has fat in it.

Americans have different ways of saying things. They say "elevator", we say "lift"... they say "President", we say "stupid psychopathic read more

Americans have different ways of saying things. They say "elevator", we say "lift"... they say "President", we say "stupid psychopathic git.

What the United States does best is to understand itself. What it does worst is understand others.

What the United States does best is to understand itself. What it does worst is understand others.