Marriage is a series of desperate arguments people feel passionately about.

Marriage is a series of desperate arguments people feel passionately about.

Marriage is a bribe to make the housekeeper think she's a householder.

Marriage is a bribe to make the housekeeper think she's a householder.

Same-sex marriage is not the future.

Same-sex marriage is not the future.

Marriage resembles a pair of shears, so joined that they cannot be separated; often moving in opposite directions, yet always read more

Marriage resembles a pair of shears, so joined that they cannot be separated; often moving in opposite directions, yet always punishing any one who comes between them.

I have learned that only two things are necessary to keep one's wife happy. First, let her think she's having read more

I have learned that only two things are necessary to keep one's wife happy. First, let her think she's having her own way. And second, let her have it.

Each moment of a happy lover's hour is worth an age of dull and common life

Each moment of a happy lover's hour is worth an age of dull and common life

Before marriage, a girl has to make love to a man to hold him. After marriage, she has to hold read more

Before marriage, a girl has to make love to a man to hold him. After marriage, she has to hold him to make love to him.

They say marriages are made in Heaven. But so is thunder and lightning.

They say marriages are made in Heaven. But so is thunder and lightning.

I have always thought that every woman should marry, and no man.

I have always thought that every woman should marry, and no man.