Marriage is like a phone call in the night: first the ring, and then you wake up.

Marriage is like a phone call in the night: first the ring, and then you wake up.

Each moment of a happy lover's hour is worth an age of dull and common life

Each moment of a happy lover's hour is worth an age of dull and common life

A dress that zips up the back will bring a husband and wife together.

A dress that zips up the back will bring a husband and wife together.

Once you are married, there is nothing left for you, not even suicide.

Once you are married, there is nothing left for you, not even suicide.

I have learned that only two things are necessary to keep one's wife happy. First, let her think she's having read more

I have learned that only two things are necessary to keep one's wife happy. First, let her think she's having her own way. And second, let her have it.

I've given my memoirs far more thought than any of my marriages.
You can't divorce a book.

I've given my memoirs far more thought than any of my marriages.
You can't divorce a book.

Marriage is the torment of one, the felicity of two, the strife and enmity of three.

Marriage is the torment of one, the felicity of two, the strife and enmity of three.

I have always thought that every woman should marry, and no man.

I have always thought that every woman should marry, and no man.

Women marry men hoping they will change. Men marry women hoping they will not. So each is inevitably disappointed.

Women marry men hoping they will change. Men marry women hoping they will not. So each is inevitably disappointed.