Marriage is the torment of one, the felicity of two, the strife and enmity of three.

Marriage is the torment of one, the felicity of two, the strife and enmity of three.

I've been married to one Marxist and one Fascist, and neither one would take the garbage out.

I've been married to one Marxist and one Fascist, and neither one would take the garbage out.

I've given my memoirs far more thought than any of my marriages.
You can't divorce a book.

I've given my memoirs far more thought than any of my marriages.
You can't divorce a book.

Marriage equality changed life for people.

Marriage equality changed life for people.

A dress that zips up the back will bring a husband and wife together.

A dress that zips up the back will bring a husband and wife together.

I have learned that only two things are necessary to keep one's wife happy. First, let her think she's having read more

I have learned that only two things are necessary to keep one's wife happy. First, let her think she's having her own way. And second, let her have it.

It's not beauty but fine qualities, my girl, that keep a husband.

It's not beauty but fine qualities, my girl, that keep a husband.

The world has grown suspicious of anything that looks like a happily married life.

The world has grown suspicious of anything that looks like a happily married life.

Why does a woman work ten years to change a man's habits and then complain that he's not the man read more

Why does a woman work ten years to change a man's habits and then complain that he's not the man she married?