The bonds of matrimony are like any other bonds--they mature slowly.

The bonds of matrimony are like any other bonds--they mature slowly.

A man in love is incomplete until he has married. Then he's finished.

A man in love is incomplete until he has married. Then he's finished.

I've been married to one Marxist and one Fascist, and neither one would take the garbage out.

I've been married to one Marxist and one Fascist, and neither one would take the garbage out.

To be happy with a man you must understand him a lot and love him a little. To be happy read more

To be happy with a man you must understand him a lot and love him a little. To be happy with a woman you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.

Marriage is the torment of one, the felicity of two, the strife and enmity of three.

Marriage is the torment of one, the felicity of two, the strife and enmity of three.

My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll
be happy; if not, you'll read more

My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll
be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher.

It takes two to make a marriage a success and only one to make it a failure.

It takes two to make a marriage a success and only one to make it a failure.

One advantage of marriage, it seems to me, is that when you fall out of love with him, or he read more

One advantage of marriage, it seems to me, is that when you fall out of love with him, or he falls out of love with you, it keeps you together until you maybe fall in again.

She cried, and the judge wiped her tears with my checkbook.

She cried, and the judge wiped her tears with my checkbook.