No woman marries for money; they are all clever enough, before marrying a millionaire, to fall in love with him read more

No woman marries for money; they are all clever enough, before marrying a millionaire, to fall in love with him first.

A foolish man tells a woman to stop talking, but a wise man tells her that her mouth is extremely read more

A foolish man tells a woman to stop talking, but a wise man tells her that her mouth is extremely beautiful when her lips are closed

Marriage is like a violin. After the music is over, you still have the strings.

Marriage is like a violin. After the music is over, you still have the strings.

In the past decade or so, the women's magazines have taken to running home-handyperson articles suggesting that women can learn read more

In the past decade or so, the women's magazines have taken to running home-handyperson articles suggesting that women can learn to fix things just as well as men. These articles are apparently based on the ludicrous assumption that _men_ know how to fix things, when in fact all they know how to do is _look_ at things in a certain squinty-eyed manner, which they learned in Wood Shop; eventually, when enough things in the home are broken, they take a job requiring them to transfer to another home.

Once a man is on hand, a woman tends to stop believing in her own beliefs.

Once a man is on hand, a woman tends to stop believing in her own beliefs.

You see, dear, it is not true that woman was made from man's rib; she was really made from his read more

You see, dear, it is not true that woman was made from man's rib; she was really made from his funny bone.

A husband is what's left of the lover after the nerve has been extracted.

A husband is what's left of the lover after the nerve has been extracted.

My mother-in-law broke up my marriage. My wife came home from work one day and found me in bed with read more

My mother-in-law broke up my marriage. My wife came home from work one day and found me in bed with her.

Man is not the enemy here, but the fellow victim.

Man is not the enemy here, but the fellow victim.