Marriage is a bribe to make the housekeeper think she's a householder.

Marriage is a bribe to make the housekeeper think she's a householder.

The bonds of matrimony are like any other bonds--they mature slowly.

The bonds of matrimony are like any other bonds--they mature slowly.

Never feel remorse for what you have thought about your wife; she has thought much worse things about you.

Never feel remorse for what you have thought about your wife; she has thought much worse things about you.

I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest read more

I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

Men marry to make an end; women to make a beginning.

Men marry to make an end; women to make a beginning.

Men marry because they are tired; women because they are curious. Both are disappointed.

Men marry because they are tired; women because they are curious. Both are disappointed.

A husband is what is left of the lover after the nerve has been
extracted.

A husband is what is left of the lover after the nerve has been
extracted.

To be happy with a man you must understand him a lot and love him a little. To be happy read more

To be happy with a man you must understand him a lot and love him a little. To be happy with a woman you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.

Before marriage, a girl has to make love to a man to hold him. After marriage, she has to hold read more

Before marriage, a girl has to make love to a man to hold him. After marriage, she has to hold him to make love to him.