If I ever marry, it will be on a sudden impulse - as a man shoots himself.

If I ever marry, it will be on a sudden impulse - as a man shoots himself.

Men marry because they are tired; women because they are curious. Both are disappointed.

Men marry because they are tired; women because they are curious. Both are disappointed.

Marriage is the torment of one, the felicity of two, the strife and enmity of three.

Marriage is the torment of one, the felicity of two, the strife and enmity of three.

I've been married to one Marxist and one Fascist, and neither one would take the garbage out.

I've been married to one Marxist and one Fascist, and neither one would take the garbage out.

What counts in making a happy marriage is not so much how compatible you are, but how you deal with read more

What counts in making a happy marriage is not so much how compatible you are, but how you deal with incompatibility.

Marriage is a wonderful invention: then again, so is a bicycle repair kit.

Marriage is a wonderful invention: then again, so is a bicycle repair kit.

Lasting harmony with a woman (was) an undertaking in which I
twice failed rather disgracefully.

Lasting harmony with a woman (was) an undertaking in which I
twice failed rather disgracefully.

Marriage is a wonderful invention; but, then again, so is a
bicycle repair kit.

Marriage is a wonderful invention; but, then again, so is a
bicycle repair kit.

A psychiatrist asks a lot of expensive questions your wife asks for nothing.

A psychiatrist asks a lot of expensive questions your wife asks for nothing.