I've been married to one Marxist and one Fascist, and neither one would take the garbage out.

I've been married to one Marxist and one Fascist, and neither one would take the garbage out.

Marriage is like twirling a baton, turning hand springs or eating with chopsticks. It looks easy until you try it.

Marriage is like twirling a baton, turning hand springs or eating with chopsticks. It looks easy until you try it.

The heart of marriage is memories.

The heart of marriage is memories.

How can a woman be expected to be happy with a man who insists on treating her as if she read more

How can a woman be expected to be happy with a man who insists on treating her as if she were a perfectly normal human being.

A good marriage is like a good trade: Each thinks he got the better deal.

A good marriage is like a good trade: Each thinks he got the better deal.

Marriage is a bribe to make the housekeeper think she's a householder.

Marriage is a bribe to make the housekeeper think she's a householder.

It's not beauty but fine qualities, my girl, that keep a husband.

It's not beauty but fine qualities, my girl, that keep a husband.

Lasting harmony with a woman (was) an undertaking in which I
twice failed rather disgracefully.

Lasting harmony with a woman (was) an undertaking in which I
twice failed rather disgracefully.

It takes two to make a marriage a success and only one to make it a failure.

It takes two to make a marriage a success and only one to make it a failure.