Marriage is like a hot bath. Once you get used to it, it's not so hot.

Marriage is like a hot bath. Once you get used to it, it's not so hot.

I require three things in a man: He must be handsome, ruthless, and stupid.

I require three things in a man: He must be handsome, ruthless, and stupid.

The person who can be only serious or only cheerful, is but half a man.

The person who can be only serious or only cheerful, is but half a man.

Man forgives women anything save the wit to outwit him.

Man forgives women anything save the wit to outwit him.

There must be some reason why a man must be convinced, while a woman must be persuaded.

There must be some reason why a man must be convinced, while a woman must be persuaded.

The male is a domestic animal which, if treated with firmness, can be trained to do most things.

The male is a domestic animal which, if treated with firmness, can be trained to do most things.

He knows little, who will tell his wife all he knows.

He knows little, who will tell his wife all he knows.

She is not made to be the admiration of all, but the happiness of one.

She is not made to be the admiration of all, but the happiness of one.

I never married because there was no need. I have three pets at home, which answer the same purpose as read more

I never married because there was no need. I have three pets at home, which answer the same purpose as a husband. I have a dog which growls every morning, a parrot which swears all afternoon and a cat that comes home late at night.