The male is a domestic animal which, if treated with firmness, can be trained to do most things.

The male is a domestic animal which, if treated with firmness, can be trained to do most things.

In the past decade or so, the women's magazines have taken to running home-handyperson articles suggesting that women can learn read more

In the past decade or so, the women's magazines have taken to running home-handyperson articles suggesting that women can learn to fix things just as well as men. These articles are apparently based on the ludicrous assumption that _men_ know how to fix things, when in fact all they know how to do is _look_ at things in a certain squinty-eyed manner, which they learned in Wood Shop; eventually, when enough things in the home are broken, they take a job requiring them to transfer to another home.

The trouble with some women is they get all excited about nothing, and then they marry him.

The trouble with some women is they get all excited about nothing, and then they marry him.

All marriages are happy. It's living together afterwards that is difficult.

All marriages are happy. It's living together afterwards that is difficult.

Why is it that men can be bastards and women must wear pearls and smile?

Why is it that men can be bastards and women must wear pearls and smile?

When a man has once loved a woman he will do anything for her except continue to love her.

When a man has once loved a woman he will do anything for her except continue to love her.

If it's a woman, its caustic; if it's a man, it's authoritative. -Barbara Walters.

If it's a woman, its caustic; if it's a man, it's authoritative. -Barbara Walters.

Bigamy is one way of avoiding the painful publicity of divorce and the expense of alimony.

Bigamy is one way of avoiding the painful publicity of divorce and the expense of alimony.

Marriage is like a violin. After the music is over, you still have the strings.

Marriage is like a violin. After the music is over, you still have the strings.