The kind of power mothers have is enormous. Take the skyline of Istanbul -- enormous breasts, pathetic little willies, a read more

The kind of power mothers have is enormous. Take the skyline of Istanbul -- enormous breasts, pathetic little willies, a final revenge on Islam. I was so scared I had to crouch in the bottom of the boat when I saw it.

On one issue, at least, men and women agree; they both distrust women.

On one issue, at least, men and women agree; they both distrust women.

A gentleman will not insult me, and no man not a gentleman can insult me.

A gentleman will not insult me, and no man not a gentleman can insult me.

If I were a girl, I'd despair. The supply of good women far exceeds that of the men who deserve read more

If I were a girl, I'd despair. The supply of good women far exceeds that of the men who deserve them.

An ounce of mother is worth a pound of clergy.

An ounce of mother is worth a pound of clergy.

The most happy marriage I can imagine to myself would be the union of a deaf man to a blind read more

The most happy marriage I can imagine to myself would be the union of a deaf man to a blind woman.

A woman isn't complete without a man. But where do you find a man - a real man - these read more

A woman isn't complete without a man. But where do you find a man - a real man - these days?

Never tell. Not if you love your wife... In fact, if your old lady walks in on you, deny it. read more

Never tell. Not if you love your wife... In fact, if your old lady walks in on you, deny it. Yeah. Just flat out and she'll believe it: "I'm tellin' ya. This chick came downstairs with a sign around her neck 'Lay on Top of Me Or I'll Die.' I didn't know what I was gonna do....".

If you want to sacrifice the admiration of many men for the criticism of one, go ahead, get married.

If you want to sacrifice the admiration of many men for the criticism of one, go ahead, get married.