A single man has not nearly the value he would have in a state of union. He is an incomplete read more

A single man has not nearly the value he would have in a state of union. He is an incomplete animal. He resembles the odd half of a pair of scissors.

Why is it that men can be bastards and women must wear pearls and smile?

Why is it that men can be bastards and women must wear pearls and smile?

A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband.

A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband.

Some men demand rough treatment everywhere!

Some men demand rough treatment everywhere!

A husband is a guy who tells you when you've got on too much lipstick and helps you with your read more

A husband is a guy who tells you when you've got on too much lipstick and helps you with your girdle when your hips stick.

Eternal boyhood is the dream of a depressing percentage of American males, and the locker room is the temple where read more

Eternal boyhood is the dream of a depressing percentage of American males, and the locker room is the temple where they worship arrested development.

Adam knew Eve his wife and she conceived. It is a pity that this is still the only knowledge of read more

Adam knew Eve his wife and she conceived. It is a pity that this is still the only knowledge of their wives at which some men seem to arrive.

I'd marry again if I found a man who had 15 million and would sign over half of it to read more

I'd marry again if I found a man who had 15 million and would sign over half of it to me before the marriage and guarantee he'd be dead within a year.

There are three things men can do with women: love them, suffer for them, or turn them into literature.

There are three things men can do with women: love them, suffer for them, or turn them into literature.