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    But we are at war, and we here at THE DAILY SHOW will do our best to keep you informed of any late-breaking...humor we can find. Of course, our show is obviously at a disadvantage compared to the many news sources that we're competing with… at a disadvantage in several respects. For one thing, we are fake. They are not. So in terms of credibility we are, well, oddly enough, actually about even. We're about even.

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  29  /  25  

I am a tiny, neurotic man, standing in the back of the room throwing tomatoes at the chalk board. And read more

I am a tiny, neurotic man, standing in the back of the room throwing tomatoes at the chalk board. And that's really it. And what we do is we come in in the morning and we go, "Did you see that thing last night? Aahh!" And then we spend the next 8 or 9 hours trying to take this and make it into something funny.

by Jon Stewart Found in: The daily show Quotes,
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  11  /  12  

Ill news is wing'd with fate, and flies apace.

Ill news is wing'd with fate, and flies apace.

by John Dryden Found in: News Quotes,
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  36  /  41  

I think of myself as a comedian who has the pleasure of writing jokes about things that I actually care read more

I think of myself as a comedian who has the pleasure of writing jokes about things that I actually care about. And that's really it. You know, if I really wanted to enact social change… I have great respect for people who are in the front lines and the trenches of trying to enact social change. I am far lazier than that.

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  29  /  29  

(Pistol:) And tidings do I bring and lucky joys
And golden times and happy news of price.
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(Pistol:) And tidings do I bring and lucky joys
And golden times and happy news of price.
(Falstaff:) I pray thee now, deliver them like a man of this
world.

by William Shakespeare Found in: News Quotes,
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  10  /  28  

For evil news rides post, while good news baits.

For evil news rides post, while good news baits.

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  8  /  29  

News, news, news, my gossiping friends,
I have wonderful news to tell,
A lady by me her read more

News, news, news, my gossiping friends,
I have wonderful news to tell,
A lady by me her compliments sends;
And this is the news from Hell!

by Lord Lytton Found in: News Quotes,
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  7  /  16  

Stay a little and news will find you.

Stay a little and news will find you.

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  22  /  35  

O, my sweet sir, news fitting to the night,
Black, fearful, comfortless, and horrible.

O, my sweet sir, news fitting to the night,
Black, fearful, comfortless, and horrible.

by William Shakespeare Found in: News Quotes,
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  7  /  12  

. . . by evil report and good report . . .

. . . by evil report and good report . . .

by Bible Found in: News Quotes,
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