But we are at war, and we here at THE DAILY SHOW will do our best to keep you informed of any late-breaking...humor we can find. Of course, our show is obviously at a disadvantage compared to the many news sources that we're competing with… at a disadvantage in several respects. For one thing, we are fake. They are not. So in terms of credibility we are, well, oddly enough, actually about even. We're about even.
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(Celia:) Here come Monsieur Le Beau.
(Rosalind:) With his mouth full of news.
(Celia:) Which he will read more
(Celia:) Here come Monsieur Le Beau.
(Rosalind:) With his mouth full of news.
(Celia:) Which he will put on us as pigeons feed their young.
(Rosalind:) Then shall we be news-crammed.
Yet the first bringer of unwelcome news
Hath but a losing office, and his tongue
Sounds ever read more
Yet the first bringer of unwelcome news
Hath but a losing office, and his tongue
Sounds ever after as a sullen bell,
Rememb'red tolling a departing friend.
Ill news, madam,
Are swallow-winged, but what's good
Walks on crutches.
Ill news, madam,
Are swallow-winged, but what's good
Walks on crutches.
Ill news is wing'd with fate, and flies apace.
Ill news is wing'd with fate, and flies apace.
How goes it now, sir? This news which is called true is so like
an old tale that the read more
How goes it now, sir? This news which is called true is so like
an old tale that the verity of it is in strong suspicion.
What, what, what,
What's the news from Sway?
Sad news,
Bad news,
read more
What, what, what,
What's the news from Sway?
Sad news,
Bad news,
Comes by the cable; led
Through the Indian Ocean's bed,
Through the Persian Gulf, the Red
Sea, and the Med-
Though it be honest, it is never good
To bring bad news; give to a gracious message
read more
Though it be honest, it is never good
To bring bad news; give to a gracious message
An host of tongues, but let ill tidings tell
Themselves when they be felt.
Fake news executives are nicer than real news executives, though real news executives are funnier than fake news executives. They read more
Fake news executives are nicer than real news executives, though real news executives are funnier than fake news executives. They don’t know they’re being funny.
For evil news rides post, while good news baits.
For evil news rides post, while good news baits.
