But we are at war, and we here at THE DAILY SHOW will do our best to keep you informed read more

But we are at war, and we here at THE DAILY SHOW will do our best to keep you informed of any late-breaking...humor we can find. Of course, our show is obviously at a disadvantage compared to the many news sources that we're competing with… at a disadvantage in several respects. For one thing, we are fake. They are not. So in terms of credibility we are, well, oddly enough, actually about even. We're about even.

(Pistol:) And tidings do I bring and lucky joys
And golden times and happy news of price.
read more

(Pistol:) And tidings do I bring and lucky joys
And golden times and happy news of price.
(Falstaff:) I pray thee now, deliver them like a man of this
world.

How goes it now, sir? This news which is called true is so like
an old tale that the read more

How goes it now, sir? This news which is called true is so like
an old tale that the verity of it is in strong suspicion.

News, news, news, my gossiping friends,
I have wonderful news to tell,
A lady by me her read more

News, news, news, my gossiping friends,
I have wonderful news to tell,
A lady by me her compliments sends;
And this is the news from Hell!

Yet the first bringer of unwelcome news
Hath but a losing office, and his tongue
Sounds ever read more

Yet the first bringer of unwelcome news
Hath but a losing office, and his tongue
Sounds ever after as a sullen bell,
Rememb'red tolling a departing friend.

Master, master, old news! And such news as you never heard of!

Master, master, old news! And such news as you never heard of!

We don't consider ourselves equal opportunity anythings, because that's not - you know, that's the beauty of fake journalism. We read more

We don't consider ourselves equal opportunity anythings, because that's not - you know, that's the beauty of fake journalism. We don't have to - we travel in fake ethics.

Prithee, friend,
Pour out the pack of matter to mine ear,
The good and the bad together: read more

Prithee, friend,
Pour out the pack of matter to mine ear,
The good and the bad together: he's friends with Caesar,
In state of health, thou say'st, and thou say'st, free.

The American people deserve to know that they're not just watching the administration's spin on their local newscasts -- they're read more

The American people deserve to know that they're not just watching the administration's spin on their local newscasts -- they're paying for it, too.