Stay a little and news will find you.

Stay a little and news will find you.

For evil news rides post, while good news baits.

For evil news rides post, while good news baits.

. . . by evil report and good report . . .

. . . by evil report and good report . . .

Who, or why, or which, or what,
Is the Akhond of Swat?

Who, or why, or which, or what,
Is the Akhond of Swat?

If't be summer news,
Smile to't before; if winterly, thou need'st
But keep that count'nance still.

If't be summer news,
Smile to't before; if winterly, thou need'st
But keep that count'nance still.

How goes it now, sir? This news which is called true is so like
an old tale that the read more

How goes it now, sir? This news which is called true is so like
an old tale that the verity of it is in strong suspicion.

But we are at war, and we here at THE DAILY SHOW will do our best to keep you informed read more

But we are at war, and we here at THE DAILY SHOW will do our best to keep you informed of any late-breaking...humor we can find. Of course, our show is obviously at a disadvantage compared to the many news sources that we're competing with… at a disadvantage in several respects. For one thing, we are fake. They are not. So in terms of credibility we are, well, oddly enough, actually about even. We're about even.

As cold waters to a thirsty soul, so is good news from a far
country.

As cold waters to a thirsty soul, so is good news from a far
country.

What, what, what,
What's the news from Sway?
Sad news,
Bad news,
read more

What, what, what,
What's the news from Sway?
Sad news,
Bad news,
Comes by the cable; led
Through the Indian Ocean's bed,
Through the Persian Gulf, the Red
Sea, and the Med-