Eighteen holes of match play will teach you more about your foe than 18 years of dealing with him across read more

Eighteen holes of match play will teach you more about your foe than 18 years of dealing with him across a desk.

I'm going to graduate on time, no matter how long it takes.

I'm going to graduate on time, no matter how long it takes.

Whenever I feel like exercise I lie down until the feeling passes.

Whenever I feel like exercise I lie down until the feeling passes.

You can make a lot of money in this game. Just ask my ex-wives. Both of them are so rich read more

You can make a lot of money in this game. Just ask my ex-wives. Both of them are so rich that neither of their husbands work.

He's a guy who gets up at six o'clock in the morning regardless of what time it is.
(on read more

He's a guy who gets up at six o'clock in the morning regardless of what time it is.
(on the spartan training regimen of heavyweight Andrew Golota)

But the real tragedy was that 15 hadn't been colored yet.
(telling Gator fans that a fire at Auburn's read more

But the real tragedy was that 15 hadn't been colored yet.
(telling Gator fans that a fire at Auburn's football dorm had destroyed 20 books)

Back then, my idol was Bugs Bunny, because I saw a cartoon of him playing ball - you know, the read more

Back then, my idol was Bugs Bunny, because I saw a cartoon of him playing ball - you know, the one where he plays every position himself with nobody else on the field but him? Now that I think of it, Bugs is still my idol. You have to love a ballplayer like that.

I'll be back.
(five days after being pummeled in his fight with Mike Tyson.)

I'll be back.
(five days after being pummeled in his fight with Mike Tyson.)

My sister's expecting a baby and I don't know if I'm going to be an uncle or an aunt.

My sister's expecting a baby and I don't know if I'm going to be an uncle or an aunt.