I never looked at the consequences of missing a big shot... when you think about the consequences you always think read more

I never looked at the consequences of missing a big shot... when you think about the consequences you always think of a negative result.

I really lack the words to compliment myself today.

I really lack the words to compliment myself today.

I know I am getting better at golf because I am hitting fewer spectators.

I know I am getting better at golf because I am hitting fewer spectators.

Show me a guy who is afraid to look bad, and I'll show you a guy you can beat every read more

Show me a guy who is afraid to look bad, and I'll show you a guy you can beat every time.

Is fuel efficiency really what we need most desperately? I say what we really need is a car that can read more

Is fuel efficiency really what we need most desperately? I say what we really need is a car that can be shot when it breaks down.

[He] called me a 'rapist' and a 'recluse'. I'm not a recluse.

[He] called me a 'rapist' and a 'recluse'. I'm not a recluse.

Baseball is a game where a curve is an optical illusion, a screwball can be a pitch or a person, read more

Baseball is a game where a curve is an optical illusion, a screwball can be a pitch or a person, stealing is legal and you can spit anywhere you like except in the umpire's eye or on the ball.

As I remember it, the bases were loaded.
(asked his reaction to hitting a grand slam)

As I remember it, the bases were loaded.
(asked his reaction to hitting a grand slam)

But the real tragedy was that 15 hadn't been colored yet.
(telling Gator fans that a fire at Auburn's read more

But the real tragedy was that 15 hadn't been colored yet.
(telling Gator fans that a fire at Auburn's football dorm had destroyed 20 books)