By the age of six the average child will have completed the basic American education.... From television, the child will read more

By the age of six the average child will have completed the basic American education.... From television, the child will have learned how to pick a lock, commit a fairly elaborate bank holdup, prevent wetness all day long, get the laundry twice as white, and kill people with a variety of sophisticated armaments.

And since the stench of death will always attract flies and vermin, the arrival of Geraldo was perhaps inevitable.

And since the stench of death will always attract flies and vermin, the arrival of Geraldo was perhaps inevitable.

Television is a gold goose that lays scrambled eggs; and it is futile and probably fatal to beat it for read more

Television is a gold goose that lays scrambled eggs; and it is futile and probably fatal to beat it for not laying caviar.

I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read read more

I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.

If it weren't for electricity we'd all be watching television by candlelight.

If it weren't for electricity we'd all be watching television by candlelight.

I hate television. I hate it as much as peanuts. But I can't stop eating peanuts.

I hate television. I hate it as much as peanuts. But I can't stop eating peanuts.

The remarkable thing about television is that it permits several million people to laugh at the same joke and still read more

The remarkable thing about television is that it permits several million people to laugh at the same joke and still feel lonely.

If everyone demanded peace instead of another television set, then there'd be peace.

If everyone demanded peace instead of another television set, then there'd be peace.

It is difficult to produce a television documentary that is both incisive and probing when every twelve minutes one is read more

It is difficult to produce a television documentary that is both incisive and probing when every twelve minutes one is interrupted by twelve dancing rabbits singing about toilet paper.