In every mess I find a friend,
In every port a wife.

In every mess I find a friend,
In every port a wife.

He knows little who will tell his wife all he knows.

He knows little who will tell his wife all he knows.

I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her.

I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her.

Wives are people who feel they don't dance enough

Wives are people who feel they don't dance enough

My fond affection thou hast seen,
Then judge of my regret
To think more happy thou hadst read more

My fond affection thou hast seen,
Then judge of my regret
To think more happy thou hadst been
If we had never met!
And has that thought been shared by thee?
Ah, no! that smiling cheek
Proves more unchanging love for me
Than labor'd words could speak.

Try praising your wife, even if it does frighten her at first

Try praising your wife, even if it does frighten her at first

Thy wife is a constellation of virtues; she's the moon, and thou
art the man in the moon.

Thy wife is a constellation of virtues; she's the moon, and thou
art the man in the moon.

Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge,
giving honour onto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, read more

Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge,
giving honour onto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as
being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be
not hindered.

A foolish son is the calamity of his father: and the contentions
of a wife are a continual dropping.

A foolish son is the calamity of his father: and the contentions
of a wife are a continual dropping.