In every mess I find a friend,
In every port a wife.

In every mess I find a friend,
In every port a wife.

She is a winsome wee thing,
She is a handsome wee thing,
She is a bonny wee read more

She is a winsome wee thing,
She is a handsome wee thing,
She is a bonny wee thing,
This sweet wee wife o' mine.

And while the wicket falls behind
Her steps, I thought if I could find
A wife I read more

And while the wicket falls behind
Her steps, I thought if I could find
A wife I need not blush to show
I've little further now to go.

I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her.

I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her.

When I think of a merry, happy, free young girl -- and look at the ailing, aching state a young read more

When I think of a merry, happy, free young girl -- and look at the ailing, aching state a young wife generally is doomed to -- which you can't deny is the penalty of marriage.

Women will never be as successful as men because they have no wives to advise them.

Women will never be as successful as men because they have no wives to advise them.

Wives are young men's mistresses; companions for middle age; and
old men's nurses.

Wives are young men's mistresses; companions for middle age; and
old men's nurses.

Try praising your wife, even if it does frighten her at first

Try praising your wife, even if it does frighten her at first

Were such the wife had fallen to my part,
I'd break her spirit, or I'd break her heart.

Were such the wife had fallen to my part,
I'd break her spirit, or I'd break her heart.