I got the bill for my surgery. Now I know what those doctors were wearing masks for.

I got the bill for my surgery. Now I know what those doctors were wearing masks for.

I'd wipe the machines off the face of the earth again, and end the industrial epoch absolutely, like a black read more

I'd wipe the machines off the face of the earth again, and end the industrial epoch absolutely, like a black mistake.

Usenet is like a herd of performing elephants with diarrhea -- massive, difficult to redirect, awe-inspiring, entertaining, and a source read more

Usenet is like a herd of performing elephants with diarrhea -- massive, difficult to redirect, awe-inspiring, entertaining, and a source of mind-boggling amounts of excrement when you least expect it.

I think computer viruses should count as life. I think it says something about human nature that the only form read more

I think computer viruses should count as life. I think it says something about human nature that the only form of life we have created so far is purely destructive. We've created life in our own image.

Scientists are the easiest to fool. They think in straight, predictable, directable, and therefore misdirectable, lines. The only world they read more

Scientists are the easiest to fool. They think in straight, predictable, directable, and therefore misdirectable, lines. The only world they know is the one where everything has a logical explanation and things are what they appear to be. Children and conjurors - they terrify me. Scientists are no problem; against them I feel quite confident. -James P. Hogan.

All programmers are playwrights and all computers are lousy actors.

All programmers are playwrights and all computers are lousy actors.

Technology... is a queer thing. It brings you great gifts with one hand, and it stabs you in the back read more

Technology... is a queer thing. It brings you great gifts with one hand, and it stabs you in the back with the other.

The secret of science is to ask the right question, and it is the choice of problem more than anything read more

The secret of science is to ask the right question, and it is the choice of problem more than anything else that marks the man of genius in the scientific world.

FORTRAN --'the infantile disorder'--, by now nearly 20 years old, is hopelessly inadequate for whatever computer application you have in read more

FORTRAN --'the infantile disorder'--, by now nearly 20 years old, is hopelessly inadequate for whatever computer application you have in mind today: it is now too clumsy, too risky, and too expensive to use.
PL/I --'the fatal disease'-- belongs more to the problem set than to the solution set.
It is practically impossible to teach good programming to students that have had a prior exposure to BASIC: as potential programmers they are mentally mutilated beyond hope of regeneration.
The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should, therefore, be regarded as a criminal offence.
APL is a mistake, carried through to perfection. It is the language of the future for the programming techniques of the past: it creates a new generation of coding bums.