Congress is so strange. A man gets up to speak and says nothing. Nobody listens--and then everybody disagrees.

Congress is so strange. A man gets up to speak and says nothing. Nobody listens--and then everybody disagrees.

A republican stands up in congress and says 'I GOT A REALLY BAD IDEA!!' and the democrat stands up after read more

A republican stands up in congress and says 'I GOT A REALLY BAD IDEA!!' and the democrat stands up after him and says 'AND I CAN MAKE IT SHITTIER!!'

If I studied all my life, I couldn't think up half the number of funny things passed in one session read more

If I studied all my life, I couldn't think up half the number of funny things passed in one session of congress.

No man, however strong, can serve ten years as schoolmaster, priest, or Senator, and remain fit for anything else.

No man, however strong, can serve ten years as schoolmaster, priest, or Senator, and remain fit for anything else.

I don't think it's the function of Congress to function well. It should drag its heels on the way to read more

I don't think it's the function of Congress to function well. It should drag its heels on the way to decision.

Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom read more

Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a

You can't use tact with a Congressman! A Congressman is a hog! You must take a stick and hit him read more

You can't use tact with a Congressman! A Congressman is a hog! You must take a stick and hit him on the snout!

Don't try to go too fast. Learn your job. Don't ever talk until you know what you're talking about.... If read more

Don't try to go too fast. Learn your job. Don't ever talk until you know what you're talking about.... If you want to get along, go along.

"Do you pray for the Senators, Dr. Hale?" someone asked the chaplain. "No, I look at the Senators and pray read more

"Do you pray for the Senators, Dr. Hale?" someone asked the chaplain. "No, I look at the Senators and pray for the country.".