If I studied all my life, I couldn't think up half the number of funny things passed in one session read more

If I studied all my life, I couldn't think up half the number of funny things passed in one session of congress.

Congress is so strange. A man gets up to speak and says nothing. Nobody listens--and then everybody disagrees.

Congress is so strange. A man gets up to speak and says nothing. Nobody listens--and then everybody disagrees.

You can't use tact with a Congressman! A Congressman is a hog! You must take a stick and hit him read more

You can't use tact with a Congressman! A Congressman is a hog! You must take a stick and hit him on the snout!

One of the standing jokes of Congress is that the new Congressman always spends the first week wondering how he read more

One of the standing jokes of Congress is that the new Congressman always spends the first week wondering how he got there and the rest of the time wondering how the other members got there

No man, however strong, can serve ten years as schoolmaster, priest, or Senator, and remain fit for anything else.

No man, however strong, can serve ten years as schoolmaster, priest, or Senator, and remain fit for anything else.

Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom read more

Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a

The Senate is a place filled with goodwill and good intentions, and if the road to hell is paved with read more

The Senate is a place filled with goodwill and good intentions, and if the road to hell is paved with them, then it's a pretty good detour.

I've said many a time that I think the Un-American Activities Committee in the House of Representatives was the most read more

I've said many a time that I think the Un-American Activities Committee in the House of Representatives was the most un-American thing in America!

A republican stands up in congress and says 'I GOT A REALLY BAD IDEA!!' and the democrat stands up after read more

A republican stands up in congress and says 'I GOT A REALLY BAD IDEA!!' and the democrat stands up after him and says 'AND I CAN MAKE IT SHITTIER!!'