Dave Barry ( 10 of 61 )
We trained hard - but it seemed that every time we were beginning to form up into teams we were read more
We trained hard - but it seemed that every time we were beginning to form up into teams we were reorganized. I was to learn later in life that we tend to meet any new situation by reorganizing, and what a wonderful method it can be for creating the illusion of progress while actually producing confusion, inefficiency, and demoralization.
People in the computer industry use the term 'user,' which to them means 'idiot.'.
People in the computer industry use the term 'user,' which to them means 'idiot.'.
New York Taxi Rules:1. Driver speaks no English.2. Driver just got here two days ago from someplace like Segal.3. Driver read more
New York Taxi Rules:1. Driver speaks no English.2. Driver just got here two days ago from someplace like Segal.3. Driver hates you.
If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will read more
If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be "meetings
The ultimate camping trip was the Lewis and Clark expedition.
The ultimate camping trip was the Lewis and Clark expedition.
I care about our young people, and I wish them great success, because they are our Hope for the Future, read more
I care about our young people, and I wish them great success, because they are our Hope for the Future, and some day, when my generation retires, they will have to pay us trillions of dollars in social security
Thus the metric system did not really catch on in the States, unless you count the increasing popularity of the read more
Thus the metric system did not really catch on in the States, unless you count the increasing popularity of the nine-millimeter bullet.
Meetings are an addictive, highly self-indulgent activity that corporations and other large organizations habitually engage in only because they cannot read more
Meetings are an addictive, highly self-indulgent activity that corporations and other large organizations habitually engage in only because they cannot masturbate
You can say any fool thing to a dog, and the dog will give you this look that says, `My read more
You can say any fool thing to a dog, and the dog will give you this look that says, `My God, you're RIGHT! I NEVER would've thought of that!'
The primary function of the government is - and here I am quoting directly from the U.S. Constitution - "to read more
The primary function of the government is - and here I am quoting directly from the U.S. Constitution - "to spew out paper."
