Fran Lebowitz

Don't bother discussing sex with small children. They rarely have anything to add.

Don't bother discussing sex with small children. They rarely have anything to add.

Even when freshly washed and relieved of all obvious confections, children tend to be sticky.

Even when freshly washed and relieved of all obvious confections, children tend to be sticky.

Ask your child what he wants for dinner only if he's buying.

Ask your child what he wants for dinner only if he's buying.

If you are a dog and your owner suggests that you wear a sweater. . . suggest that he wear read more

If you are a dog and your owner suggests that you wear a sweater. . . suggest that he wear a tail.

The opposite of talking isn't listening. The opposite of talking is waiting.

The opposite of talking isn't listening. The opposite of talking is waiting.