Fred Allen

I learned law so well, the day I graduated I sued the college, won the case, and got my tuition read more

I learned law so well, the day I graduated I sued the college, won the case, and got my tuition back.

Imitation is the sincerest form of television.

Imitation is the sincerest form of television.

A celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to
become well known, then wears dark glasses to read more

A celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to
become well known, then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized.

Hanging is too good for a man who makes puns; he should be drawn and quoted.

Hanging is too good for a man who makes puns; he should be drawn and quoted.

The first time I sang in the church choir; two hundred people changed their religion.

The first time I sang in the church choir; two hundred people changed their religion.