Fred Allen

After quitting radio I was able to live on the money I saved on aspirins.

After quitting radio I was able to live on the money I saved on aspirins.

I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy
me.

I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy
me.

Imitation is the sincerest form of television.

Imitation is the sincerest form of television.

I learned law so well, the day I graduated I sued the college, won the case, and got my tuition read more

I learned law so well, the day I graduated I sued the college, won the case, and got my tuition back.

Hanging is too good for a man who makes puns; he should be drawn and quoted.

Hanging is too good for a man who makes puns; he should be drawn and quoted.