Fred Allen

The first time I sang in the church choir; two hundred people changed their religion.

The first time I sang in the church choir; two hundred people changed their religion.

Hanging is too good for a man who makes puns; he should be drawn and quoted.

Hanging is too good for a man who makes puns; he should be drawn and quoted.

Her hat is a creation that will never go out of style; it will just look ridiculous year after year.

Her hat is a creation that will never go out of style; it will just look ridiculous year after year.

I love deadlines. I especially like the whooshing sound they make as they go flying by.

I love deadlines. I especially like the whooshing sound they make as they go flying by.

A celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to
become well known, then wears dark glasses to read more

A celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to
become well known, then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized.