Fred Allen

I don't want to own anything that won't fit into my coffin.

I don't want to own anything that won't fit into my coffin.

I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy
me.

I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy
me.

I love deadlines. I especially like the whooshing sound they make as they go flying by.

I love deadlines. I especially like the whooshing sound they make as they go flying by.

After quitting radio I was able to live on the money I saved on aspirins.

After quitting radio I was able to live on the money I saved on aspirins.

Her hat is a creation that will never go out of style; it will just look ridiculous year after year.

Her hat is a creation that will never go out of style; it will just look ridiculous year after year.