Fred Allen

I'd rather have a full bottle in front of me than a full frontal lobotomy.

I'd rather have a full bottle in front of me than a full frontal lobotomy.

An actor's popularity is fleeting. His success has the life expectancy of a small boy who is about to look read more

An actor's popularity is fleeting. His success has the life expectancy of a small boy who is about to look into a gas tank with a lighted match.

A telescope will magnify a star a thousand times, but a good press agent can do even better.

A telescope will magnify a star a thousand times, but a good press agent can do even better.

I love deadlines. I especially like the whooshing sound they make as they go flying by.

I love deadlines. I especially like the whooshing sound they make as they go flying by.

A celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to
become well known, then wears dark glasses to read more

A celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to
become well known, then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized.