Maxioms by Mitch Hedberg
My friend asked me if I wanted a frozen banana. I said 'No, but I want a regular banana later, read more
My friend asked me if I wanted a frozen banana. I said 'No, but I want a regular banana later, so... yeah.'
When someone hands you a flyer, it's like they're saying here you throw this away.
When someone hands you a flyer, it's like they're saying here you throw this away.
I wrote a letter to my dad, I was going to write 'I really enjoyed being here', but I accidentally read more
I wrote a letter to my dad, I was going to write 'I really enjoyed being here', but I accidentally wrote 'rarely' instead of 'really'. But I wanted to use it, I didn't want to cross it out, so I wrote 'I rarely drive steamboats, Dad. There's a lot of sh*t you don't know about me. Quit trying to act like I'm a steamboat operator.' I know this letter took a harsh turn right away.
I once saw a forklift lift a crate of forks. And it was way to literal for me.
I once saw a forklift lift a crate of forks. And it was way to literal for me.
I drank some boiling water because I wanted to whistle.
I drank some boiling water because I wanted to whistle.
