W. C. Fields

Now don't say you can't swear off drinking; it's easy. I've done it a thousand times.

Now don't say you can't swear off drinking; it's easy. I've done it a thousand times.

Show me a great actor and I'll show you a lousy husband. Show me a great actress, and you've seen read more

Show me a great actor and I'll show you a lousy husband. Show me a great actress, and you've seen the devil.

If I had to live my life over, I'd live over a saloon.

If I had to live my life over, I'd live over a saloon.

Once during Prohibition I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water.

Once during Prohibition I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water.

I'm free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.

I'm free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.