The memories of my family outings are still a source of strength to me. I remember we'd all pile into the car - I forget what kind it was - and drive and drive. I'm not sure where we'd go, but I think there were some trees there. The smell of something was strong in the air as we played whatever sport we played. I remember a bigger, older guy we called "Dad." We'd eat some stuff, or not, and then I think we went home. I guess some things never leave you.
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To me, boxing is like a ballet, except there's no music, no choreography, and the dancers hit each other.
To me, boxing is like a ballet, except there's no music, no choreography, and the dancers hit each other.
The crows seemed to be calling his name, thought Caw.
The crows seemed to be calling his name, thought Caw.
Laurie got offended that I used the word "puke." But to me, that's what her dinner tasted like.
Laurie got offended that I used the word "puke." But to me, that's what her dinner tasted like.
I scrambled to the top of the precipice where Nick was waiting. "That was fun," I said. "You bet it read more
I scrambled to the top of the precipice where Nick was waiting. "That was fun," I said. "You bet it was," said Nick. "Let's climb higher." "No," I said. "I think we should be heading back now." "We have time," Nick insisted. I said we didn't, and Nick said we did. We argued back and forth like that for about 20 minutes, then finally decided to head back. I didn't say it was an interesting story.
Dad always thought laughter was the best medicine, which I guess is why several of us died of tuberculosis.
Dad always thought laughter was the best medicine, which I guess is why several of us died of tuberculosis.
Sometimes when I feel like killing someone, I do a little trick to calm myself down. I'll go over to read more
Sometimes when I feel like killing someone, I do a little trick to calm myself down. I'll go over to the persons house and ring the doorbell. When the person comes to the door, I'm gone, but you know what I've left on the porch? A jack-o-lantern with a knife stuck in the side of it's head with a note that says "You." After that I usually feel a lot better, and no harm done.
If a kid asks where rain comes from, I think a cute thing to tell him is "God is crying." read more
If a kid asks where rain comes from, I think a cute thing to tell him is "God is crying." And if he asks why God is crying, another cute thing to tell him is "Probably because of something you did.".
If you're a horse, and someone gets on you, and falls off, and then gets right back on you, I read more
If you're a horse, and someone gets on you, and falls off, and then gets right back on you, I think you should buck him off right away.
If you ever fall off the Sears Tower, just go real limp, because maybe you'll look like a dummy and read more
If you ever fall off the Sears Tower, just go real limp, because maybe you'll look like a dummy and people will try to catch you because, hey, free dummy.
