Now don't say you can't swear off drinking; it's easy. I've done it a thousand times.

Now don't say you can't swear off drinking; it's easy. I've done it a thousand times.

When treading London's well-known ground
If e'er I feel my spirits tire,
I haul my sail, look read more

When treading London's well-known ground
If e'er I feel my spirits tire,
I haul my sail, look up around,
In search of Whitbread's best entire.
- Unattributed Author,

When the liquor's out, why clink the cannikin?

When the liquor's out, why clink the cannikin?

Mynheer Vandunck, though he never was drunk,
Sipped brandy and water gayly.

Mynheer Vandunck, though he never was drunk,
Sipped brandy and water gayly.

And I wish his soul in heaven may dwell,
Who first invented this leathern bottel!

And I wish his soul in heaven may dwell,
Who first invented this leathern bottel!

Cigarettes and coffee: an alcoholic's best friend!

Cigarettes and coffee: an alcoholic's best friend!

Prudence must not be expected from a man who is never sober.
[Lat., Non est ab homine nunquam sobrio read more

Prudence must not be expected from a man who is never sober.
[Lat., Non est ab homine nunquam sobrio postulanda prudentia.]

Nothing in Nature's sober found,
But an eternal Health goes round.
Fill up the Bowl then, fill read more

Nothing in Nature's sober found,
But an eternal Health goes round.
Fill up the Bowl then, fill it high--
Fill all the Glasses there; for why
Should every Creature Drink but I?
Why, Man of Morals, tell me why?

Call things by their right names - Glass of brandy and water! That is the current, but not the appropriate read more

Call things by their right names - Glass of brandy and water! That is the current, but not the appropriate name; ask for a glass of liquid fire and distilled damnation.