I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me.

I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me.

First you take a drink, then the drink takes a drink, then the drink takes you.

First you take a drink, then the drink takes a drink, then the drink takes you.

Alcohol removes inhibitions - like that scared little mouse who got drunk and shook his whiskers and shouted: "Now bring read more

Alcohol removes inhibitions - like that scared little mouse who got drunk and shook his whiskers and shouted: "Now bring on that damn cat!"

Herb is the healing of a nation, alcohol is the destruction.

Herb is the healing of a nation, alcohol is the destruction.

Cigarettes and coffee: an alcoholic's best friend!

Cigarettes and coffee: an alcoholic's best friend!

Alcohol is the anesthesia by which we endure the operation of life.

Alcohol is the anesthesia by which we endure the operation of life.

When I have an idea, I turn down the flame, as if it were a little alcohol stove, as low read more

When I have an idea, I turn down the flame, as if it were a little alcohol stove, as low as it will go. Then it explodes and that is my idea.

I tried to drown my sorrows, but the bastards learned how to swim, and now I am overwhelmed by this read more

I tried to drown my sorrows, but the bastards learned how to swim, and now I am overwhelmed by this decent and good feeling.

Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.

Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.