An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have. The older she gets the more interested he is in read more

An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have. The older she gets the more interested he is in her.

Men have a much better time of it than women: for one thing they marry later, for another thing they read more

Men have a much better time of it than women: for one thing they marry later, for another thing they die earlier.

A man's face is his autobiography. A woman's face is her work of fiction.

A man's face is his autobiography. A woman's face is her work of fiction.

I hate women because they always know where things are.

I hate women because they always know where things are.

A woman's head is always influenced by heart; but a man's heart by his head. -Lady Marguerite Blessington.

A woman's head is always influenced by heart; but a man's heart by his head. -Lady Marguerite Blessington.

Marriage is like a violin. After the music is over, you still have the strings.

Marriage is like a violin. After the music is over, you still have the strings.

Few misfortunes can befall a boy which bring worse consequences than to have a really affectionate mother.

Few misfortunes can befall a boy which bring worse consequences than to have a really affectionate mother.

Man loves little and often. Woman much and rarely.

Man loves little and often. Woman much and rarely.

Never tell. Not if you love your wife... In fact, if your old lady walks in on you, deny it. read more

Never tell. Not if you love your wife... In fact, if your old lady walks in on you, deny it. Yeah. Just flat out and she'll believe it: "I'm tellin' ya. This chick came downstairs with a sign around her neck 'Lay on Top of Me Or I'll Die.' I didn't know what I was gonna do....".