You leave home to seek your fortune and, when you get it, you go home and share it with your read more

You leave home to seek your fortune and, when you get it, you go home and share it with your family.

I'm not interested in age. People who tell me their age are silly. You're as old as you feel.

I'm not interested in age. People who tell me their age are silly. You're as old as you feel.

When a man opens the car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife.

When a man opens the car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife.

A good marriage is like a casserole, only those responsible for it really know what goes in it.

A good marriage is like a casserole, only those responsible for it really know what goes in it.

Women like silent men. They think they're listening.

Women like silent men. They think they're listening.

A husband is a guy who tells you when you've got on too much lipstick and helps you with your read more

A husband is a guy who tells you when you've got on too much lipstick and helps you with your girdle when your hips stick.

An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have; the older she gets the more interested he is in read more

An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have; the older she gets the more interested he is in her.

Epperson's law: When a man says it's a silly, childish game, it's probably something his wife can beat him at.

Epperson's law: When a man says it's a silly, childish game, it's probably something his wife can beat him at.

Having children makes you no more a parent than having a piano makes you a pianist.

Having children makes you no more a parent than having a piano makes you a pianist.