Such a wife as I want... must be young, handsome I lay most stress upon a good shape, sensible a read more

Such a wife as I want... must be young, handsome I lay most stress upon a good shape, sensible a little learning will do, well-bread, chaste, and tender. As to religion, a moderate stock will satisfy me. She must believe in God and hate a saint.

Man was made at the end of the week's work, when God was tired

Man was made at the end of the week's work, when God was tired

Woman submits to her fate; man makes his.

Woman submits to her fate; man makes his.

If variety is the spice of life, marriage is the big can of leftover Spam.

If variety is the spice of life, marriage is the big can of leftover Spam.

Nor need we power or splendor, wide hall or lordly dome; the good, the true, the tender- these form the read more

Nor need we power or splendor, wide hall or lordly dome; the good, the true, the tender- these form the wealth of home.

The family is the nucleus of civilization.

The family is the nucleus of civilization.

Call it a clan, call it a network, call it a tribe, call it a family: Whatever you call it, read more

Call it a clan, call it a network, call it a tribe, call it a family: Whatever you call it, whoever you are, you need one.

The man that blushes is not quite a brute.

The man that blushes is not quite a brute.

I feel like Zsa Zsa Gabor's sixth husband. I know what I'm supposed to do, but I don't know how read more

I feel like Zsa Zsa Gabor's sixth husband. I know what I'm supposed to do, but I don't know how to make it interesting.