If I were a girl, I'd despair. The supply of good women far exceeds that of the men who deserve read more

If I were a girl, I'd despair. The supply of good women far exceeds that of the men who deserve them.

If you want to know about a man you can find out an awful lot by looking at who he read more

If you want to know about a man you can find out an awful lot by looking at who he married.

Most married couples, even though they love each other very much in theory, tend to view each other in practice read more

Most married couples, even though they love each other very much in theory, tend to view each other in practice as large teeming flaw colonies, the result being that they get on each other's nerves and regularly erupt into vicious emotional shouting matches over such issues as toaster settings.

The only thing worse than a man you can't control is a man you can.

The only thing worse than a man you can't control is a man you can.

Mistress: Something between a mister and a mattress.

Mistress: Something between a mister and a mattress.

Be kind to thy father, for when thou were young, who loved thee so fondly as he? He caught the read more

Be kind to thy father, for when thou were young, who loved thee so fondly as he? He caught the first accents that fell from thy tongue, and joined in thy innocent glee.

There are two types of people. Those we who come into a room and say, "Well, here I am!" and read more

There are two types of people. Those we who come into a room and say, "Well, here I am!" and those who come in and say, "Ah, there you are.".

She'd have you spew up what you've drunk when you were out.

She'd have you spew up what you've drunk when you were out.

No woman marries for money; they are all clever enough, before marrying a millionaire, to fall in love with him read more

No woman marries for money; they are all clever enough, before marrying a millionaire, to fall in love with him first.