A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband.

A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband.

Talk to every woman as if you loved her, and to every man as if he bored you, and at read more

Talk to every woman as if you loved her, and to every man as if he bored you, and at the end of your first season you will have the reputation of possessing the most perfect social tact

There are two types of people. Those we who come into a room and say, "Well, here I am!" and read more

There are two types of people. Those we who come into a room and say, "Well, here I am!" and those who come in and say, "Ah, there you are.".

The father who does not teach his son his duties is equally guilty with the son who neglects them.

The father who does not teach his son his duties is equally guilty with the son who neglects them.

They keep saying the right person will come along, I think mine got hit by a truck.

They keep saying the right person will come along, I think mine got hit by a truck.

A good cigar is as great a comfort to a man as a good cry is to a woman.

A good cigar is as great a comfort to a man as a good cry is to a woman.

He believes that marriage and a career don't mix. So after the wedding he plans to quit his job.

He believes that marriage and a career don't mix. So after the wedding he plans to quit his job.

Mistress: Something between a mister and a mattress.

Mistress: Something between a mister and a mattress.

Most married couples, even though they love each other very much in theory, tend to view each other in practice read more

Most married couples, even though they love each other very much in theory, tend to view each other in practice as large teeming flaw colonies, the result being that they get on each other's nerves and regularly erupt into vicious emotional shouting matches over such issues as toaster settings.