Don't park in the spaces marked, "Reserved for Umpires.".

Don't park in the spaces marked, "Reserved for Umpires.".

We train by a parkway, which runs beside a river. If we had a lonely end, he either would be read more

We train by a parkway, which runs beside a river. If we had a lonely end, he either would be hit by a car or drown.
(on why he doesn't use a lonely end)

One player was lost because he broke his nose. How do you go about getting a nose in condition for read more

One player was lost because he broke his nose. How do you go about getting a nose in condition for football?
(when asked if the abnormal number of Longhorn injuries this season resulted from poor physical conditioning)

There is one word in America that says it all, and that word is, 'You never know.'

There is one word in America that says it all, and that word is, 'You never know.'

I'm not an athlete. I'm a professional baseball player.

I'm not an athlete. I'm a professional baseball player.

There are people who think that wrestling is an ignoble sport. Wrestling is not sport, it is a spectacle, and read more

There are people who think that wrestling is an ignoble sport. Wrestling is not sport, it is a spectacle, and it is no more ignoble to attend a wrestled performance of suffering than a performance of the sorrows of Arnolphe or Andromaque. rn

The integrity of the game is everything.

The integrity of the game is everything.

I may be dumb, but I'm not stupid.

I may be dumb, but I'm not stupid.

With those who don't give a damn about baseball, I can only sympathize. I do not resent them. I am read more

With those who don't give a damn about baseball, I can only sympathize. I do not resent them. I am even willing to concede that many of them are physically clean, good to their mothers and in favor of world peace. But while the game is on, I can't think of anything to say to them.