The reason most people play golf is to wear clothes they would not be caught dead in otherwise.

The reason most people play golf is to wear clothes they would not be caught dead in otherwise.

I don't care what the tape says. I didn't say it.

I don't care what the tape says. I didn't say it.

Everybody knows that I have been pumping Martin Leslie for a couple of seasons now.

Everybody knows that I have been pumping Martin Leslie for a couple of seasons now.

It's a round ball and a round bat, and you got to hit it square.

It's a round ball and a round bat, and you got to hit it square.

Don't park in the spaces marked, "Reserved for Umpires.".

Don't park in the spaces marked, "Reserved for Umpires.".

He wants Texas back.
(when asked what terms Mexican-born pitching sensation Fernando Valenzuela might settle for in his upcoming read more

He wants Texas back.
(when asked what terms Mexican-born pitching sensation Fernando Valenzuela might settle for in his upcoming contract negotiations)

I'm a 4-wheel-drive pickup type of guy. So is my wife.

I'm a 4-wheel-drive pickup type of guy. So is my wife.

A good hitter has timing.
A good pitcher upsets timing.

A good hitter has timing.
A good pitcher upsets timing.

I am the most loyal player money can buy.
(Pitcher for the Los Angeles Dodgers, Houston Astros, Milwaukee Brewers, read more

I am the most loyal player money can buy.
(Pitcher for the Los Angeles Dodgers, Houston Astros, Milwaukee Brewers, Oakland Athletics and California Angels)