We were the quintessence of athletic atrocity.
(after a game his team lost to the New York Nets)

We were the quintessence of athletic atrocity.
(after a game his team lost to the New York Nets)

Left hand, right hand, it doesn't matter. I'm amphibious.

Left hand, right hand, it doesn't matter. I'm amphibious.

I was going to write myself in, but I was afraid I'd get shot.
(on his decision not to read more

I was going to write myself in, but I was afraid I'd get shot.
(on his decision not to vote)

The triple is the most exciting play in baseball. Home runs win a lot of games, but I never understood read more

The triple is the most exciting play in baseball. Home runs win a lot of games, but I never understood why fans are so obsessed with them.

You know it's going to hell when the best rapper out there is white and the best golfer is black.

You know it's going to hell when the best rapper out there is white and the best golfer is black.

Most skiers are really motorcyclists in cute clothes.

Most skiers are really motorcyclists in cute clothes.

Have you ever noticed? Anybody going slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a read more

Have you ever noticed? Anybody going slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac.

I see no reason why Tiger Woods won't become a great player. Man, can he smoke some shots. A little read more

I see no reason why Tiger Woods won't become a great player. Man, can he smoke some shots. A little refinement on Tiger's short game and there'll be nothing. He's already pretty darn imposing.

I lost it in the sun!
(after fumbling a grounder.)

I lost it in the sun!
(after fumbling a grounder.)