I know I am getting better at golf because I am hitting fewer spectators.

I know I am getting better at golf because I am hitting fewer spectators.

Sometimes they write what I say and not what I mean.
(on sportswriters)

Sometimes they write what I say and not what I mean.
(on sportswriters)

I'm glad you're doing this story on us and not on the WNBA. We're so much prettier than all the read more

I'm glad you're doing this story on us and not on the WNBA. We're so much prettier than all the other women in sports.

Golf appeals to the idiot in us and the child. Just how childlike golf players become is proven by their read more

Golf appeals to the idiot in us and the child. Just how childlike golf players become is proven by their frequent inability to count past five.

I'm going to send the injured reserve players out for the toss next time.
(after the team's co-captain, offensive read more

I'm going to send the injured reserve players out for the toss next time.
(after the team's co-captain, offensive guard Robert Pratt, pulled a hamstring running onto the field for the coin toss against St. Louis)

If God wanted women to understand men, football would never have been created.

If God wanted women to understand men, football would never have been created.

A good coach will make his players see what they can be rather than what they are.

A good coach will make his players see what they can be rather than what they are.

Baseball is almost the only orderly thing in a very unorderly world. If you get three strikes, even the best read more

Baseball is almost the only orderly thing in a very unorderly world. If you get three strikes, even the best lawyer in the world can't get you off.

Well, either side could win it, or it could be a draw.

Well, either side could win it, or it could be a draw.