Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can't sleep with the window shut, and a woman who read more

Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can't sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can't sleep with the window open.

A husband is what is left of the lover after the nerve has been
extracted.

A husband is what is left of the lover after the nerve has been
extracted.

The difficulty with marriage is that we fall in love with a personality, but must live with a character.

The difficulty with marriage is that we fall in love with a personality, but must live with a character.

The heart of marriage is memories.

The heart of marriage is memories.

Never get married in the morning - you never know who you might meet that night.

Never get married in the morning - you never know who you might meet that night.

Men marry because they are tired; women because they are curious. Both are disappointed.

Men marry because they are tired; women because they are curious. Both are disappointed.

Once you are married, there is nothing left for you, not even suicide.

Once you are married, there is nothing left for you, not even suicide.

Love: A temporary insanity curable by marriage.

Love: A temporary insanity curable by marriage.

I have learned that only two things are necessary to keep one's wife happy. First, let her think she's having read more

I have learned that only two things are necessary to keep one's wife happy. First, let her think she's having her own way. And second, let her have it.